Top Four (Worst) Video Game Worlds To Live In

#4 Pikmen (Wherever You Crash Land/Live) - Would you want to live in a world where everything is giant and nothing is friendly except for tiny, colorful, noseless people that do whatever you tell them to, and you live in constant fear of being killed by some strange creature? Or would you like to be one of those puny people, devoting your life to a stranger dressed as an astronaut, and being put into harm’s way nearly 24/7? No. No you wouldn’t.

#3 Any Superhero Game Ever (Any Superhero World Ever) - If there are superheroes, then there are super villains, too. Sure Batman, Spiderman, and the rest of the spandex clad, overly muscled men and women out there have saved a lot of innocent people over the years, but a lot of civilians have died too. If you are a “damsel in distress” you are as likely to be killed as you are to be saved. Either way, there is always going to be crazy stuff going on in the world and there will always be a new villain waiting to run amuck as soon as the last one is tossed into a high security prison somewhere, assuming they don’t escape from said prison.

#2 Mass Effect (The Universe) - The galaxy is at war and if you haven’t personally been decimated by the Reapers, then someone you know has. All organic life (and some synthetic life) is throwing everything it has in one last ditch effort, suicide mission style assault to save everyone and rid themselves of the Reapers. It all comes down to the decision made by one man/women, Commander Shepard. They decide whether to control the Reapers and send them away, destroy all inorganic life forever, or permanently blend all inorganic and organic life into sentient, cyborg-like beings. No matter which option they choose, the mass relays (the way everyone travels through the galaxy) will be destroyed, millions of people will be stranded, and millions more will die. The worst part? Some stranger gets to decide your future and you have no say whatsoever. Maybe if Shepard had more choices *wink wink, then maybe things wouldn’t be so bleak. 

#1 Diablo (Sanctuary) - Despite the name “Sanctuary” this Earth-like world is all but peaceful. Not long after its creation, its people had their magical abilities taken away by the powers of heaven and hell. Then angels and demons fought over Sanctuary for the loyalty of its people. Eventually Diablo and his brothers were banished from hell and chose to ravage Sanctuary. Years after they were captured and locked away in soul stones, Diablo was released again, wrecking havoc on everything in his path. A few years later and Diablo was at it again, releasing his brothers along the way. Fast forward two decades and Sanctuary was once again under attack by the likes of hell with humanity’s existence at stake. While in Sanctuary you’d likely be living in a little town with the armies of hell in your backyard. If you think that sounds crappy, imagine all of that happening while living in Sanctuary’s equivalent to the Middle Ages. Diablo; fun to play not to live.

Missed The Cut - Rampage (Earth) - It would indeed be quite terrible to live in a world where every major city is constantly being attacked by giant lizards, apes, and rats.

Top Four Best Video Game Worlds To Live In

#4 Rock Band (Earth) - Love music? Then you’d love living in the Rock Band version of Earth. The world would be riddled with amazing bands that would be touring all the time.  Your itunes library would never suffer from a shortage of new music, ever. Plus, nothing else would really change and Earth is already pretty nice.

#3 PaRappa the Rapper (Whatever World It Is That PaRappa Lives In) - Going along similar lines as Rock Band, PaRappa’s world would bring in a reign of music. Singing and rapping would make the mundane things in life, like taking your driving test, a whole lot more fun. It would also be school, yet slightly awkward, to get to hangout with talking dogs, bears, and onion-people. Life would never be boring.

#2 Mass Effect [If The Reapers Didn’t Exist] (The Universe) - With all organic life no longer in danger, life would be pretty sweet. Flying around the galaxy and discovering new worlds would be incredible. No, it would be so unbelievably enjoyable that a new word would have to be invented to describe it. As long as you don’t find yourself being chased by space pirates or looking down the barrel of a shotgun held by a mercenary, you’d be fine.

#1 Super Mario (Mushroom Kingdom) - Think about it, unless you are an Italian plumber (and who is?), princess, or minion of a dimwitted dinosaur-turtle king, you would never be in danger. The kingdom is colorful and the clouds smile at you. How could you have a bad day racing a go-cart against a gorilla? Life would be pretty easy while spending the majority of your time playing soccer with turtles, baseball with chimps, and cruising around town on the back of a fun-loving, egg-laying dinosaur. Sounds pretty sweet to me.

Missed The Cut - Your Favorite Video Game World - At first you might think it would be amazing, but you’d soon discover that your expectations were set too high and would be doomed for disappointment.

Balancing Act: The Diablo 3 Demon Hunter

Diablo is amazing. Video games are (mostly) amazing. Diablo is an amazing video game.

In Diablo 3, players get to choose from five different classes: barbarian, witch doctor, wizard, monk, and demon hunter. Players are also allowed to have a total of ten characters at once. Because of that, it might seem that the class you choose first is not that important, but to me it is. My first class of choice (if my computer can actually run the game) is . . . the demon hunter.

I am not choosing the demon hunter because they are totally badass, because they have grenades, which is just plain cool, or because it is easier (at times) to play as a ranged class; I am choosing the demon hunter because I can relate to them (sort of).

Each character has something called a "resource system." This system is what allows them to use their spells and abilities. The demon hunter's resource system is actually a combination of hatred and discipline.  Hatred is used for offensive skills while discipline is needed for defensive ones. In the lore of Diablo demon hunters need to maintain a balance between hatred and discipline, so that they do not lose control while in pursuit of demons. To me, in life we or at least I, have to live in a similar balance.

On a daily basis I need to maintain balance in different phases of life. I know that when I wander off the beaten path things usually do not go terribly well. One of the best part of playing video games is being able to connect to the character that you are playing (which is why everyone hates when their character dies *cough *cough Mass Effect *cough Bioware, you screwed up). Maybe I am going to play as a demon hunter because they look ridiculously cool, but I'd at least like to believe that I'm not that shallow (all the time).

Decide for yourself which class to choose.

Top Four Most (Un)Satisfying Types of Video Game Endings

#4. It Was All a Dream - So you've spent hours playing through a game and finally make it to the end only for it to be revealed that everything you just did was just someone's dream? What?! Games (and movies for that matter) that all take place during a dream are a half-assed way of ending things. Developers are telling their fans one of two things. Either they weren't created enough to actually come up with a gripping narrative or they were lazy. This ending type has been used over and over and over again and by big time games, too. There have been Super Mario, Final Fantasy, and Zelda games that have all been a dream. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP.

#3. You're Left Wanting More Game - I don't mean you want more game, so you can keep on playing, but you want more game, so you get a new ending. Far too many games have ultimately ended like this; the original Borderlands was this way. The point of the story or so players thought was that there was a something called "The Vault" that contained unimaginable treasures and alien artifacts. However, *spoilers* when you got there some giant monster pops out of it and when you killed it The Vault closed, never to be opened again. When credits appeared after Halo 2's ending, many people were hoping that it was just a joke and that there'd be more after the credits; there wasn't. Sometimes I wonder if developers really don't know that these endings are bad? 

#2. Your Character Dies at the End - As in real life there is death in video games and that is to be expected. However, just like in real life we don't want death to fall upon ourselves or those that we care about. When your character permanently dies at the end of a video game it is as if you and a close friend of died simultaneously. While playing a beloved video game character people tend to connect with them and put some of themselves into them; it's why they are beloved in the first place. As a gamer, the last thing that I want to happen is to pour hours into a game or game series only to have my character die. Whether it is a noble death or not, it's still death and death should never be associated with household video game names . . . like "Commander Shepard."

#1. The One That You Wish Was All Three . . . The Mass Effect 3 Ending - *all spoilers* Mass Effect 3's ending(s) did leave players craving more and their characters did die at the end, which is why some of us wish that the entire series was all just a dream. If the game was a dream then we could at least pretend that Commander Shepard was still alive (or didn't exist), that the ending didn't come down to choosing between red, blue, and green, and we wouldn't have to 'rage quit' the game via turning off our consoles in stunned silence. By the time I was nearing the end of the game I had already heard that the ending was infuriating to most, but I had made sure not to find out what actually happened until I played and I hoped that the ending wouldn't be so bad to me. At first I thought,"OK. What just happened?" I was able to remain pretty calm and even though I didn't like the ending, I didn't think that it was earth shatteringly bad, but time changes things. The more I thought about the ending, the more I re-watched the 'various' endings, and the more time I spent thinking about plot holes (like how all of the members of your crew that you can bring into battle were in London, but somehow made it back onto the Normandy) the more I thoroughly despised the ending with a passionate hate that I normally reserve for things in the real world. The biggest reason why the ending was so terrible is because gamers were lied to. We were all promised "A story that diverges into wildly different conclusions based on the player's actions in the first two chapters" and we got the polar opposite. Nothing that players did factored into the 'choice' that they made at the end of the game. None of the three endings or ending cinematics were fundamentally different. Although there are 'three different' conclusions to the series, they all look and feel exactly the same. No matter what players choose, Shepard dies (or at least loses his/her physical form), the Reapers are no longer a threat, the mass relays are destroyed, and the Normandy crash lands on some unknown planet. After receiving flak from thousands of enraged fans, Bioware has decided to work on "Extended Cut DLC" that will "expand upon the ending." Time will tell if anything really changes or if players will be left with a bad taste in their mouthes and tainted memories of the Mass Effect experience. No matter what happens, gamers will not forget the initial ending that they played through and that's not a good thing.

Top Four (Non-Playable) Video Game Characters That I Love

#4. Mario Auditore (Assassin's Creed II) - There is little remarkable about this particular Mario, but that is kind of the point. He is the uncle of Ezio Auditore, the game's main character, and he is always there to lend a helping hand. His villa serves as the Assassin's home-base throughout much of the game and is where Ezio's mother and sister live after they are forced from their home. The most important thing that is does is train Ezio and help him follow his father's footsteps by joining the Assassin's fight against the Templars. For most, Mario Auditore is a simple and possibly, forgettable character. So, why do I love him? Simply because of something he says when you first meet him, "It's a-me, Mario!" This shout out to Nintendo's beloved Italian plumber is my favorite video game reference of all time and has earned Ubisoft's Mario a place on my list and in my heart.

#3. Deckard Cain (Diablo Series) - In Diablo, Cain is your Dumbledore, your Gandalf. Unlike the other two, he has no magic powers, but he is old and has a bushy white beard. He also happens to always be wearing a cloak/robe and is the most knowledgable character in the game. Another link between the three is that Dumbledore did die, Gandalf almost died, and the introduction to Diablo III leads you to believe that Cain has died, until you start playing. During the Diablo series, Cain has served as the players' main guide and source for information. Blizzard even released a book titled The Book of Cain that is supposed to be written by Cain and tells about everything that he has witnessed first-hand as well as all of the knowledge he has accumulated about Heaven, Hell, and Sanctuary (the equivalent to Earth in the game). Besides Diablo himself (or herself if you believe certain theories about the upcoming third game), he is the only character featured in every game; Diablo wouldn't be the same without him. Blizzard also linked a game mechanic to Cain to make him even slightly more important and badass; he'd identify your items for free. What I (and many fans) love most about Cain is his voice. Cain's voice has become the voice of the series. His most famous soundbite is, "Stay awhile and listen" and if you place Diablo II at all, it is a line that you will hear frequently. Despite how many times I've heard it, it never gets old; I love it.

#2. Claptrap (Borderlands) - I love Claptrap. I hate Claptrap. I love to hate Claptrap and that's why he's soared all the way up to #2 on my list. Claptrap is a talkative, boxy robot with a single wheel for a leg and two arms. He is the face of the Borderland franchise and is somewhat of a mascot. There was very little dialogue in the first game, so at time it was refreshing when you'd come across a Claptrap in town. The problem was that they'd never shut up, which is why Claptrap is a love/hate character for virtually everyone that's played the game. Like Cain, Claptrap had a game mechanic tied directly to him. Occasionally, players would come across a broken Claptrap while they were out and about. If they found that Claptraps missing piece and fixed him, they'd be rewarded with an additional inventory space. However, the entire time you were around the broken Claptrap he'd be yelling, "Help me! Help me!" and wouldn't stop crying for his life. At first, it was just sad, but after awhile it became annoying. By the time you put 30 hours into the game and finally beat it, you hated Claptrap with a passion. There was good news though. Gearbox later released some DLC called Claptrap's New Robot Revolution. During this DLC, players got to do what they had wanted to do for quite sometime; kill Claptrap. Borderlands 2 is set to release this September and it is sure to provide me with more reasons to love hating Claptrap. Until then, I get to enjoy him dance to some dubstep (about 2:24 in).

#1. Garrus Vakarian (Mass Effect Series) - I must start by saying that I have never played as a female Commander Shepard or FemShep, so I have never played as a character that pursued a romantic relationship with Garrus. Moving on. Garrus is the man that other men dream of being like and women dream of being with. He shows compassion and understanding when he needs to, while also being a ruthless badass that accepts nothing less than perfection on the battlefield and works to cleanse the galaxy of villains and scumbags alike. People speak of him in hushed whispers. Upon being seriously injured, he decided he didn't feel like dying. He chose to keep his scars just to look even more awesome. He knows how to brag without coming off as arrogant. My Commander Shepard caught him getting it on with Tali vas Normandy, so clearly he has a way with the ladies. He never questions or doubts you. He always has "calibrations" to make and he knows it. Some of his dialogue and cutscenes are the most satisfying in the series. He is one of only two characters that serve as a member of your crew on the Normandy in all three games. You really get to see him change and develop as a character. He starts out as a C-Sec (Citadel Security) Officer, later becomes a powerful vigilante wittily named "Archangel," and ultimately becomes Commander Shepard's most loyal ally and best friend (if you let him anyway). When I first heard that ME3 was going to have multiplayer and that you could play as all races, I dreamed of creating a Turian and making him as close to Garrus as I could. Unfortunately, the multiplayer part of the game doesn't really work that way, so I'm left dreaming of what it would be like to play as Garrus. Before heading into the finale of ME3, your brief goodbye with Garrus fuels you to want to bring the galactic war to an end even more so you can share a drink with him. Now that Bioware is making changes to ME3's ending (after thousands of fans expressed their disappointment and rage), maybe we'll all finally be able to have that drink. Garrus Vakarian is the most interesting Turian in the Galaxy and I love em'.

Why the Boy in Mass Effect 3 Annoys Me

Everyone that has played Mass Effect 3 (sorry if that doesn't include you) is familiar with a boy that you encounter near the start of the game. When making your way to your ship, the Normandy, during a Reaper (giant, sentient, synthetic ship-beings) invasion of Earth, you stumble across the boy, hiding in an air vent. You reach out to him and try to get him to come with you to safety, but he declines, then disappears. Seems innocent, actually annoying.

During the opening cinematic, you see the boy outside, playing with a Normandy toy. If he has a Normandy toy, he knows who Commander Shepard (your character) is. If he knows who Shepard is, then he knows what he/she looks like. If Shepard tries to save him, he'll let Shepard save him.

If the boy had allowed the player to help him out, then gamers would not have had to witness the shuttle he boarded get incinerated by a Reaper. That death haunts Shepard's dreams throughout the rest of the game and is the reason why the Catalyst (a sentient being that controls the Reapers) decides to take the form of that young boy. 

Had this one thing happened (the kid accepting your help), players would not have had to sit through multiple, repetitive dream sequences (that were a missed opportunity) where you are forced to "run" incredibly slowly, chasing the boy around a forest until he disappears in flames. Shepard would have been in a better state of mind throughout the rest of the game as well.

Many Mass Effect fans also hated the ending (I held out as long as I could, but eventually joined them in their rage.) If the Catalyst chose a different form, then at least one part of the much-hated ending would have been different.

Lesson: If you are hiding in an air vent and the hero of humanity and all of the galaxy offers to help you, say,"YES!"